abnormalizes | Seasons: IC Contact/Continuations

[See, it's Evangeline, so he's not really surprised by the offer? But it still manages to catch him off guard. Cue Sonic choking on that potato chip in the least cool way possible. Just uuuuuuuuuuuh, give him a second to clear the ol' airways, then we'll get back to the tits.]

-Sorry, shouldn't have said that while you were eating, my bad.

[She'll wait!]

[He's good after a couple more seconds! Probably done eating chips, though.]

You're fine! It's fine! Didn't come out my nose or anything, so we're good. I really oughta know better by now, heh.

I might eventually stop surprising you if you know me long enough. It could happen.

Clearly we need to hang out more. Something as simple as boobs shouldn't startle me so much.

Probably not. ...So, is that a yes or a no?

Well... Shadow still comes over here, right? So he probably wouldn't mind if I said yes. So, sure.

[This will surely make going to the PORN STORE less awkward later. Somehow. FOR SCIENCE.]

He certainly hasn't said anything to me about you two being exclusive now, I feel like he would've mentioned that.

[Anyway! Evangeline takes off her shirt, then her black lacy bra to reveal: boobs. They're nice ones! On the bigger side for humans, not that he would have any way to know.]

Tada.

It's never really come up. Just given the way this place works, I guess it makes sense not to worry about something like that?

[It doesn't bother Sonic either way, he's always been big on freedom and stuff.

And then there's boobs! Surprisingly, Sonic isn't really awkward at all about them actually being on display. Probably because he had warning? This is more a SCIENCE situation than an arousal situation. But yes he has no idea what average size for human boobs is, they all look huge to him.]

Huh. They look... heavy?

[Wow Sonic how are you not still single]

Oh, yeah, they are. That's part of why girls wear bras, to help support them. If your breasts are too big you can get a lot of back pain, it's really annoying.

[Casually giving the Breast Lore.]

Oh, sure, that makes sense. Sounds real inconvenient. They're nice, though! I'm not sayin' they're not, like, attractive.

[Don't mind him he's just giving off mad virgin vibes it'S FINE]

Thank you! Do you want to touch them, or should I just put them away?

Uhh... Sure? Would it be weird if I did-- stupid question, this kinda thing doesn't bug you at all, does it.

Sonic, if you said to me right now, "hey, it would make me feel a lot better if we had sex," I would just go "sure, let's do it".

Fair enough. I dunno if I'm ready for that right this minute, but,

[he reaches out, gently squeezes both breasts, complete with a] honk honk, [and then releases them just as quickly.]

Okay, I'm satisfied. We can go whenever you're ready.

[Giggling when he honks her breasts, before she puts her bra and her shirt back on.]

Alright, I'm all set. Let's go. It's not a far walk from here - uh, but you'll have to go at my speed, sorry.

That's no problem at all, I've been trying to get used to slowing down around here anyway. I'll just call this practice!

Great! Let's head out then.

[It is a relatively short walk to the nearest teleporter, even at Evangeline's speed, and then from there to the sex store.

Inside, the walls are covered with all kinds of merchandise - vibrators, handcuffs, gags, things Sonic probably wouldn't be able to identify at a glance.]

Do you want to start with the dildo or the cock ring?

[At least half the reason can't identify so much of this stuff is because he's lingering behind Evangeline, only peeking around her when she asks him where he wants to start. MM YEAH BUDDY that big awkward is back FULL FORCE. Maybe a quicky would have helped him calm his nerves after all, but TOO LATE NOW NERDS hindsight is 20/20.]

Oh, uh--! I don't... I guess it doesn't matter. Dildos?

Okay, so we want to start you off with a small one. About the smallest you can get without going into specialty places is three and a half inches long, so let's look for something about that length.

[She heads straight over to the Dildo Section.]

[The straight forward instructional tone does help him calm down, and he tails behind Evangeline to the wiener section. He does look a smidge confused though.]

That's small? Oookay, sure, we'll start with that.

The average human penis is five inches when erect, and most dildos made by humans are meant to emulate a human penis somewhat. So yeah, three and a half is small.

[She owns a couple not meant to mimic human dicks that reach over a foot long, but she decides not to mention that.]

Right, right, a size difference like that would make sense. That's definitely smaller than Shadow's... I didn't exactly get an accurate measurement of it though.

[At this point it wouldn't surprise Sonic at all if Eva had a few giant dildos laying around. That's just how she do!]

We'll work your way up to Shadow's size, promise! But starting small is good. Oh, here's one that looks perfect.

[She picks up a dildo that's labeled as 3.5 inches. The packaging says it's perfect for travel!]

No rush, I don't really wanna get torn in half.

[He says no rush, but this is Sonic the Hedgehog. He's always in a rush. Hopefully he remembers to take all this slowly. But hey, Eva found a rad little dildo!]

That doesn't look too intimidating, though.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject