[It is a relatively short walk to the nearest teleporter, even at Evangeline's speed, and then from there to the sex store.
Inside, the walls are covered with all kinds of merchandise - vibrators, handcuffs, gags, things Sonic probably wouldn't be able to identify at a glance.]
Do you want to start with the dildo or the cock ring?
[At least half the reason can't identify so much of this stuff is because he's lingering behind Evangeline, only peeking around her when she asks him where he wants to start. MM YEAH BUDDY that big awkward is back FULL FORCE. Maybe a quicky would have helped him calm his nerves after all, but TOO LATE NOW NERDS hindsight is 20/20.]
Oh, uh--! I don't... I guess it doesn't matter. Dildos?
Okay, so we want to start you off with a small one. About the smallest you can get without going into specialty places is three and a half inches long, so let's look for something about that length.
[The straight forward instructional tone does help him calm down, and he tails behind Evangeline to the wiener section. He does look a smidge confused though.]
That's small? Oookay, sure, we'll start with that.
The average human penis is five inches when erect, and most dildos made by humans are meant to emulate a human penis somewhat. So yeah, three and a half is small.
[She owns a couple not meant to mimic human dicks that reach over a foot long, but she decides not to mention that.]
Right, right, a size difference like that would make sense. That's definitely smaller than Shadow's... I didn't exactly get an accurate measurement of it though.
[At this point it wouldn't surprise Sonic at all if Eva had a few giant dildos laying around. That's just how she do!]
[He says no rush, but this is Sonic the Hedgehog. He's always in a rush. Hopefully he remembers to take all this slowly. But hey, Eva found a rad little dildo!]
Sonic gives her a thumbs up and sets his bag down, and then just stares down at himself because he hadn't thought about how to actually DO the measuring part. Well... nards. He's gonna need a boner.]
[He takes the measuring tape! And then taps his chin with it while he glances around the room and then at Evangeline.]
You don't have to leave, but. Uhh. So, I don't know if Shadow works a little different? He's not exactly an average hedgehog in terms of... well, [He gestures to his own crotchular area. Shadow's got a wacky dong, yo,] but typically a male hedgehog needs to be aroused for anything to pop out, for... lack of a better term. I guess.
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Alright, I'm all set. Let's go. It's not a far walk from here - uh, but you'll have to go at my speed, sorry.
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[It is a relatively short walk to the nearest teleporter, even at Evangeline's speed, and then from there to the sex store.
Inside, the walls are covered with all kinds of merchandise - vibrators, handcuffs, gags, things Sonic probably wouldn't be able to identify at a glance.]
Do you want to start with the dildo or the cock ring?
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Oh, uh--! I don't... I guess it doesn't matter. Dildos?
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[She heads straight over to the Dildo Section.]
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That's small? Oookay, sure, we'll start with that.
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[She owns a couple not meant to mimic human dicks that reach over a foot long, but she decides not to mention that.]
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[At this point it wouldn't surprise Sonic at all if Eva had a few giant dildos laying around. That's just how she do!]
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[She picks up a dildo that's labeled as 3.5 inches. The packaging says it's perfect for travel!]
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[He says no rush, but this is Sonic the Hedgehog. He's always in a rush. Hopefully he remembers to take all this slowly. But hey, Eva found a rad little dildo!]
That doesn't look too intimidating, though.
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[Evangeline kind of assumes everyone owns lube.]
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[Picks up a couple of things of lube for him.]
That just leaves the cock ring. I should've asked if you got your measurements before we left, come to think of it.
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[This is just SO MUCH, EVA]
Should we go do that real quick? Like buy this stuff and then come back with the measurements later?
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[Ah well, could be worse. He's gonna pay for this other shit real quick and try to look SUPER casual about it]
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[The cashier is a trained expert at not making things weird, don't worry.]
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Yeah, I guess I was. I think I'm good now, though! Let's get outta here, I don't wanna take up all your time today.
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[out the door he goes! He does remember not to run ahead like an asshole, but he is in a bit of a hurry.]
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-Here we are. Lemme figure out where I left my measuring tape.
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Sonic gives her a thumbs up and sets his bag down, and then just stares down at himself because he hadn't thought about how to actually DO the measuring part. Well... nards. He's gonna need a boner.]
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Here you go. Do you, uh, want me to go in another room for a bit?
[She's fine seeing his dick but she also knows not everyone is fine showing their dick.]
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You don't have to leave, but. Uhh. So, I don't know if Shadow works a little different? He's not exactly an average hedgehog in terms of... well, [He gestures to his own crotchular area. Shadow's got a wacky dong, yo,] but typically a male hedgehog needs to be aroused for anything to pop out, for... lack of a better term. I guess.
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[Just, so matter-of-factly.]
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wrapup?
Sounds good!