In that case, as a non-practicing therapist [sir don't make it sound like a religion] I suggest perhaps a dinner party, or something equally small and intimate with friends.
Such gatherings are important, Ol Siaion. They allow you to see your importance to others even without the benefits attached. It's easy to tell oneself that you are loved, and that there are many people who love you... but it is something else entirely to see just how many people will show up at your doorstep merely to enjoy a meal and chat with you.
The point is seeing them all together in one place, Evangeline. It's the difference between "there are ten contacts on my phone that I have lunch with sometimes" and "there are ten whole people in my home, whom all arrived of their own volition, merely to talk and share a meal with me". Does that make sense?
He has to put his phone down for a moment, hang on. Y'know, put it on the table, look out for the window for a second. Ponder.
...
But, okay, no --]
Darling, dearest Evangeline, whom I adore so much. I am not saying that you lack object permanence. Merely that it is a good way to remind yourself that you have so many people who care about you for so many reasons.
And, speaking as a non-practicing therapist [- stop?? -] I feel it is also important to give you that without the context of sex involved with it.
Please remember that you struggled with the idea of me giving you compliments that had nothing to do with how sexually attractive you are.
Not at all. That is why I suggested something like a small dinner party; there are plenty of people who hold such gatherings merely because they can, after all. Frankly, I'm surprised Lycaon hasn't yet. He seems the type. I might bring that up with him.
Anyway, though, parties aren't some sacred thing reserved for holidays. Hell, you could even make a holiday to celebrate, if you wanted to. Those aren't sacred, either. All that matters is that you wish to see your friends and treat them to something fun.
Indeed, it is. And, frankly, I'm impressed that you recognize that. Most people don't. They see their own mental resistence as a sign that they shouldn't pursue something at all, even if it would be worth it to them in the end.
In fact, the thought of "I'm reluctant to do this, thus, I should do it" is a prevailing way to tackle social anxiety in the moment. The fear or discomfort or whatever else is often outweighed by the benefits in the end, after all.
You have to do things that are uncomfortable or scary if you want to grow. That's how it worked for me with dating.
...Okay, but not right now. You've got your birthday, then next month is holiday stuff, and February is my birthday... Maybe January if nothing big happens to get in the way?
Exactly. Not all growth comes from hardship, but sometimes hardship is necessary to remove blockages preventing your growth. Like removing asphalt so wildlife can return in its place.
That said, January would be a lovely time for something like that. It's often empty and boring, merely a "stopgap" month before February. Most everyone would be thankful for something to do.
[well, immediate RIP to her party plans, considering "everyone gets musical-hypnotized and her sister falls into a coma" feels pretty big and party-stifling,]
Yes, but what of our restrictions? Your other option would be to not invite your own boyfriend. I wouldn't want you to hold a nice dinner party yet be forced to leave him out of it.
Then we are going to continue in circles? Our restriction cannot be lowered unless both parties agree to it, and I would rather not do that.
[...
There's a moment, here, though, where the "goated is typing..." bubble pops up for a moment or so. But eventually...]
Then again. I have recently come into possession of a way to override my own in-built control via my name. However, I have yet to test it, as I would rather not test it while I am alone. And if I'm to test name-control, I'd need someone here to help with that, anyway...
Yes and no. I would like you to come right over, but I am, admittedly, not at my suite. Rather, I'm in the Gardens over in Blossomcrown. Would you care to join me here?
[By the time she's made her way to him, Louis's already gone and grabbed a snack for them both - there's a stand in the Gardens he likes, one that sells churros with the classic, correct recipe... which means they're vegan by default. No eggs to mess them up, here!! And hers are being held out to her with a smile that's as personable as always, of course.]
Hello, Ol Siaion; fast as always, I see. Or were you, perhaps, excited to come see me?
Doesn't it just? These are one of my favorite options, here in the Gardens. Or, well - In the park leading to the Gardens. Better they not sell the food directly inside of it, but it's nice that there are some at all.
[And now he'll wave for her to come and join her on a nearby bench, making sure there's plenty of space for her to sit beside him. Before he gets into his own churro, though...]
... So. That item I had told you about. Have you seen the newest options among Riki's goods yet?
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In that case, as a non-practicing therapist [sir don't make it sound like a religion] I suggest perhaps a dinner party, or something equally small and intimate with friends.
Such gatherings are important, Ol Siaion. They allow you to see your importance to others even without the benefits attached.
It's easy to tell oneself that you are loved, and that there are many people who love you... but it is something else entirely to see just how many people will show up at your doorstep merely to enjoy a meal and chat with you.
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It's the difference between "there are ten contacts on my phone that I have lunch with sometimes" and "there are ten whole people in my home, whom all arrived of their own volition, merely to talk and share a meal with me".
Does that make sense?
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He has to put his phone down for a moment, hang on. Y'know, put it on the table, look out for the window for a second.
Ponder.
...
But, okay, no --]
Darling, dearest Evangeline, whom I adore so much. I am not saying that you lack object permanence.
Merely that it is a good way to remind yourself that you have so many people who care about you for so many reasons.
And, speaking as a non-practicing therapist [- stop?? -] I feel it is also important to give you that without the context of sex involved with it.
Please remember that you struggled with the idea of me giving you compliments that had nothing to do with how sexually attractive you are.
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But, okay, a party. Don't I still need some kind of occasion?
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Frankly, I'm surprised Lycaon hasn't yet. He seems the type. I might bring that up with him.
Anyway, though, parties aren't some sacred thing reserved for holidays. Hell, you could even make a holiday to celebrate, if you wanted to. Those aren't sacred, either.
All that matters is that you wish to see your friends and treat them to something fun.
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The fact that I'm really reluctant to do this is probably more evidence that I should.
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Most people don't. They see their own mental resistence as a sign that they shouldn't pursue something at all, even if it would be worth it to them in the end.
In fact, the thought of "I'm reluctant to do this, thus, I should do it" is a prevailing way to tackle social anxiety in the moment.
The fear or discomfort or whatever else is often outweighed by the benefits in the end, after all.
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...Okay, but not right now. You've got your birthday, then next month is holiday stuff, and February is my birthday... Maybe January if nothing big happens to get in the way?
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Like removing asphalt so wildlife can return in its place.
That said, January would be a lovely time for something like that. It's often empty and boring, merely a "stopgap" month before February.
Most everyone would be thankful for something to do.
[well, immediate RIP to her party plans, considering "everyone gets musical-hypnotized and her sister falls into a coma" feels pretty big and party-stifling,]
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I'll pencil it in then! Maybe I'll cook something vegan.
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I wouldn't want you to hold a nice dinner party yet be forced to leave him out of it.
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[...
There's a moment, here, though, where the "goated is typing..." bubble pops up for a moment or so. But eventually...]
Then again. I have recently come into possession of a way to override my own in-built control via my name.
However, I have yet to test it, as I would rather not test it while I am alone. And if I'm to test name-control, I'd need someone here to help with that, anyway...
Would you say you're currently free?
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Rather, I'm in the Gardens over in Blossomcrown. Would you care to join me here?
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[After a couple minutes, she shows up in the gardens, dressed appropriately cute.]
Hi, honeybug.
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And hers are being held out to her with a smile that's as personable as always, of course.]
Hello, Ol Siaion; fast as always, I see. Or were you, perhaps, excited to come see me?
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[Accepting her churro with a smile.]
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In the park leading to the Gardens. Better they not sell the food directly inside of it, but it's nice that there are some at all.
[And now he'll wave for her to come and join her on a nearby bench, making sure there's plenty of space for her to sit beside him.
Before he gets into his own churro, though...]
... So. That item I had told you about.
Have you seen the newest options among Riki's goods yet?
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-You go first.
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Evangeline, you can't dangle something like that in front of an Orange core. What is it that you bought?
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1/2;
2/2;
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1/2;
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wrapup for sanity