abnormalizes | Seasons: IC Contact/Continuations

Sometimes more.

[His emotions are smaller than she'd expected. He carries himself so theatrically - big reactions to everything - that it comes as a surprise how muted they really are.

And in sharp relief to that, how much he adores her.]

When you write me poetry, it's like twice that.

...

[That tiny, almost scared little confusion squirming through everything almost feels like it quivers, hearing that.]

... Twice that...

[...

And now, for some reason, his shoulders droop, that expression of his starting to smooth out.

It's as if he's recognizing that his reaction to it all is a lot bigger than his feelings truly are, and that maybe he should...
Be honest about it. Drop the theatrics, the acting he purposefully puts on to look "normal" to others.]

Mmm. ... It's very touching, just how strongly you feel about me.
I apologize if what you're finding on my end is disappointing... but please know that my own are - they're... the strongest I've felt about anything.

It's okay. There's nothing wrong with how you feel things, Louis. And I'm honored that you feel as strongly for me as you do.

[The desire to reassure, to support, to make sure Louis knows he's fine as he is.]

Most would disagree. Classically, I would be diagnosed with some sort of disorder for it - the only reason I haven't is that my father didn't believe in psychology.

...

It's good you think so, however. I must admit, I always carry a small fear about the way I think, and feel, and perceive the world...
I'm well aware that even before dying, I've never been able to see the world as others do. Not in the same way as now, where my vision's muddied by my magic -
But somehow, when dealing with others, my mind takes paths theirs never do. My feelings, soft as they are, don't often come into play -
I make mistakes, and I hurt others because of it. Like an alien doing its best to pantomime humanity, and failing.

[His voice is even and flat as he speaks, purposefully keeping his theatrics to a minimum, and there's a soft little ripple in his emotions as he says what he does.
What is that ripple? Hard to say. But it's definitely there.]

... Of course, I'm not attempting to be a "bummer", so to speak. Just stating facts as they are.

-I think that you trying so hard to make other people happy even knowing you have this handicap is even more admirable.

[And she doesn't have to worry about whether he believes her or not - there's admiration right there for him to feel.]

I don't want to invalidate how hard it is for you... but I think you're no less wonderful because of that.

... To be frank, that "handicap" may be one of the driving forces behind it. I imagine it's similar to how many comedians have chronic, medically diagnosed depression.
They want to give others what they can't have, themselves.

That's not to say I don't feel joy at all, of course. But to feel it at the level of everyone else - that's no more than a fantasy.
At least, it certainly is now. Now that I've experienced how strong the emotions of others tend to be.

[Said as he holds his hand out, looking at that bracelet.]

I used to believe my own weren't quite this bad, that others had been acting a bit as well... but I suppose I'm wrong about that.
Not the first thing I've been wrong about, in this sense; it's... very hard to understand the minds of others without dipping inside of them, myself.

[And now, his hand comes up to grip one of his horns.]

At any rate... did you want to see what it was I purchased from Riki?

-One sec.

[She leans in and kisses him. It's chaste and sweet, they are in public, but -

If he wants to give other people what he can't have, she wants him to feel the warmth in her heart that he gives her.]

Okay. What did you buy?

[-- The kiss, as quick and chaste as it might have been, gets a little pop of something bright and warm on his end.
It isn't huge, less like a firework and more like a spark... but it's very noticeably there.

Equally as noticeable as the way he's going orange over it.]

- W-well... if you'll be so kind, I need you to hold these for me -

[Said as he starts taking accessories off of his horns, having decked them out in golden rings before leaving the house for the day.
Those are being handed off to Evangeline for safe keeping.]

... And I'd like you to close your eyes, too. If you would.

Can do!

[She holds onto his rings and closes her eyes, having some suspicion about what he might have bought just from that hint.]

[Wellll, whatever she's imagining while she's eyes closed, it's coming with a big dose of nerves!
A... surprisingly big dose of nerves. Like, she'll feel the way it balloons as her eyes shut, and it's a lot bigger than one might expect with how dull his other feelings are.

(Probably because it's not just one emotion. It's an aggregate of many - anxiety, fear, caution, paranoia. Excitement, too, bubbling within it all.)

Eventually, though...]

... Alright. You may open them again. Though, I, ah -
I forgot I might... need a parasol or something, if you have an umbrella in your bag? I hadn't packed one...

[The reason why's obvious, considering his new "human" form is based on the one he had while he was alive - literally blood-red eyes looking at hers when she opens them again.]

[Opening her eyes and-]

Oh! You look cute!

[The lack of horns is obviously a downgrade, but she still likes his eyes, his new hair, his not-grey skin. He still looks good!

She opens up her purse and pulls out her Cthulhu umbrella, which she offers.]

[- Another little jump on his end, hearing that she actually... thinks he's cute like this??
The way he flushes is instantaneous. ... And deep, with how pale his skin is.

That umbrella's taken with a nod of thanks, though, and opened for him to huddle under.
And... he takes a moment, here, to look up at it above him. Half just thanks to not having his magic muddying his vision, but also half so he can ponder for a moment.]

... I'm glad you still find me attractive like this. Considering I'm human.

You're Louis. Even when you're human, I love you too much to be afraid.

[Makes perfect sense to her.]

Ah... is it truly just fear that fuels your struggles with humans?

[Here he thought that fear drove her to find humans unattractive, honestly--]

Fear's the primary part of it, yeah. I used to see corpses any time I kissed a human, but I've been able to work on that a little bit.

... Well, I suppose it helps that in this instance, I'm still technically dead. Merely given human form while I use this ability, that's all.
Perhaps my ability to switch between the two could help you with it further...?

Maybe! -And even if it doesn't, I won't complain about kissing you like this anyway.

Really? Even though I am, for all intents and purposes, currently fully human?

[...]

I was about to say "and I am hideous like this", but I realize you would argue that. But...
Please know, too, this is very, very painfully similar to my looks while alive...

[Hey surprise it's her turn to hold HIS face.]

You're handsome to me. Everyone else is just missing out.

[Oh, face is held --]

...

I -
I'm flattered you feel that way, but... as I said, this is nearly how I looked while I was alive...

So?

...Oh, because of your age when you died, that makes it weird?

[Yeah she would have to reconsider calling teenagers handsome, not a huge fan of that.]

No? Because -
Because of who I was when I was alive? I was a nasty, horrible person - and now I have that person's face once more?

[...]

... Is that - w-would that make it weird for you...? That I died that young? I'm sorry, I should have considered that...

Your insides haven't changed. [Evangeline brushes her thumb across his cheek.] You're still my beloved friend, who dedicates himself to making people happy. Even if you look how you used to, you haven't become that person again.

[And now she's going to kiss him again, full of love and warmth.]

Well, no, technically my insides have changed, as the organs of Grim Reapers are all simply fascimiles of organs, and as a human, I --

[-- Oh he's getting kissed.

His heart nearly leaps into his throat with how easily the kiss comes, his newfound pulse hammering over it, but... obviously he's going to return it, regardless - bringing up one of his own hands to cup her cheek as he does.

And from his end of their connection, too, she'll feel warmth bubbling in; something soft and small, but nonetheless pronounced as he tries to will his heartbeat back to something more calm.]

Seasons: IC Contact/Continuations

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wrapup for sanity