You have to do things that are uncomfortable or scary if you want to grow. That's how it worked for me with dating.
...Okay, but not right now. You've got your birthday, then next month is holiday stuff, and February is my birthday... Maybe January if nothing big happens to get in the way?
Exactly. Not all growth comes from hardship, but sometimes hardship is necessary to remove blockages preventing your growth. Like removing asphalt so wildlife can return in its place.
That said, January would be a lovely time for something like that. It's often empty and boring, merely a "stopgap" month before February. Most everyone would be thankful for something to do.
[well, immediate RIP to her party plans, considering "everyone gets musical-hypnotized and her sister falls into a coma" feels pretty big and party-stifling,]
Yes, but what of our restrictions? Your other option would be to not invite your own boyfriend. I wouldn't want you to hold a nice dinner party yet be forced to leave him out of it.
Then we are going to continue in circles? Our restriction cannot be lowered unless both parties agree to it, and I would rather not do that.
[...
There's a moment, here, though, where the "goated is typing..." bubble pops up for a moment or so. But eventually...]
Then again. I have recently come into possession of a way to override my own in-built control via my name. However, I have yet to test it, as I would rather not test it while I am alone. And if I'm to test name-control, I'd need someone here to help with that, anyway...
Yes and no. I would like you to come right over, but I am, admittedly, not at my suite. Rather, I'm in the Gardens over in Blossomcrown. Would you care to join me here?
[By the time she's made her way to him, Louis's already gone and grabbed a snack for them both - there's a stand in the Gardens he likes, one that sells churros with the classic, correct recipe... which means they're vegan by default. No eggs to mess them up, here!! And hers are being held out to her with a smile that's as personable as always, of course.]
Hello, Ol Siaion; fast as always, I see. Or were you, perhaps, excited to come see me?
Doesn't it just? These are one of my favorite options, here in the Gardens. Or, well - In the park leading to the Gardens. Better they not sell the food directly inside of it, but it's nice that there are some at all.
[And now he'll wave for her to come and join her on a nearby bench, making sure there's plenty of space for her to sit beside him. Before he gets into his own churro, though...]
... So. That item I had told you about. Have you seen the newest options among Riki's goods yet?
Ah, the bonding bracelets... mm, I did think of you when I saw them. They felt like something you would want to try - a means to get to know the people you love on a deeper level.
[And now he lets out a hum of thought, bringing his churro-less hand up to rub his chin.]
... Yes, I suppose I'd be willing to try them. However, if we do... I would like to put them on now, before I show you what it is that I bought.
[Evangeline pulls the pair of bracelets out of her purse, slips hers on, and offers the other to Louis.
What does she feel toward Louis in this moment? Gratitude for his willingness to try this with her. Curiosity towards what he has in store. Comfort and ease from his presence by her side.
And love, clear and strong. Love for the way he looks at the flowers surrounding them, for the way his nose scrunches up. For him being brave enough to feel her feelings even struggling with trusting that other people care about him the way he does. Love for every inch of him, like a warm blanket wrapped around her.]
- And immediately jumps, taking it back off again like he'd been burned.
That's - it's so much? Immediately, that's so much; it felt like even just for a second, he'd been filled to the brim beyond his capacity... Staring wide eyed, now, at the bracelet - though he turns that look up to her with a few blinks.]
... I suppose I should have prepared myself for that, first. Rather than simply slapping it on without consideration.
[Sitting up straighter again, he clears his throat and slooowly puts the bracelet back on...]
[... Only for his face to go all sorts of wobbly, the bridge of his nose scrunching up as her feelings outright flood him like this. They're beautiful - of course they are, they're Evangeline's feelings - and he's honored and touched that she feels this way, but they're just... So much bigger than he's used to.
...
Which is something Evangeline, herself, will be able to feel. Even his shock and confusion are soft, small, and muted despite the way he'd lept up like a cat after its tail had been stepped on.
The only thing that isn't all that muted from him is the adoration he feels for her, honestly. It's clear as day, sitting strong and proud among all of his much smaller, weaker emotions - but it's also just about as big as you'd expect from a normal person. Which... probably gives her a bit of a benchmark for just how small the rest of them are.]
Y-you... is this - Do other people feel things... this much?
[His emotions are smaller than she'd expected. He carries himself so theatrically - big reactions to everything - that it comes as a surprise how muted they really are.
And in sharp relief to that, how much he adores her.]
[That tiny, almost scared little confusion squirming through everything almost feels like it quivers, hearing that.]
... Twice that...
[...
And now, for some reason, his shoulders droop, that expression of his starting to smooth out.
It's as if he's recognizing that his reaction to it all is a lot bigger than his feelings truly are, and that maybe he should... Be honest about it. Drop the theatrics, the acting he purposefully puts on to look "normal" to others.]
Mmm. ... It's very touching, just how strongly you feel about me. I apologize if what you're finding on my end is disappointing... but please know that my own are - they're... the strongest I've felt about anything.
Most would disagree. Classically, I would be diagnosed with some sort of disorder for it - the only reason I haven't is that my father didn't believe in psychology.
...
It's good you think so, however. I must admit, I always carry a small fear about the way I think, and feel, and perceive the world... I'm well aware that even before dying, I've never been able to see the world as others do. Not in the same way as now, where my vision's muddied by my magic - But somehow, when dealing with others, my mind takes paths theirs never do. My feelings, soft as they are, don't often come into play - I make mistakes, and I hurt others because of it. Like an alien doing its best to pantomime humanity, and failing.
[His voice is even and flat as he speaks, purposefully keeping his theatrics to a minimum, and there's a soft little ripple in his emotions as he says what he does. What is that ripple? Hard to say. But it's definitely there.]
... Of course, I'm not attempting to be a "bummer", so to speak. Just stating facts as they are.
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...Okay, but not right now. You've got your birthday, then next month is holiday stuff, and February is my birthday... Maybe January if nothing big happens to get in the way?
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Like removing asphalt so wildlife can return in its place.
That said, January would be a lovely time for something like that. It's often empty and boring, merely a "stopgap" month before February.
Most everyone would be thankful for something to do.
[well, immediate RIP to her party plans, considering "everyone gets musical-hypnotized and her sister falls into a coma" feels pretty big and party-stifling,]
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I'll pencil it in then! Maybe I'll cook something vegan.
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I wouldn't want you to hold a nice dinner party yet be forced to leave him out of it.
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[...
There's a moment, here, though, where the "goated is typing..." bubble pops up for a moment or so. But eventually...]
Then again. I have recently come into possession of a way to override my own in-built control via my name.
However, I have yet to test it, as I would rather not test it while I am alone. And if I'm to test name-control, I'd need someone here to help with that, anyway...
Would you say you're currently free?
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Rather, I'm in the Gardens over in Blossomcrown. Would you care to join me here?
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[After a couple minutes, she shows up in the gardens, dressed appropriately cute.]
Hi, honeybug.
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And hers are being held out to her with a smile that's as personable as always, of course.]
Hello, Ol Siaion; fast as always, I see. Or were you, perhaps, excited to come see me?
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[Accepting her churro with a smile.]
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In the park leading to the Gardens. Better they not sell the food directly inside of it, but it's nice that there are some at all.
[And now he'll wave for her to come and join her on a nearby bench, making sure there's plenty of space for her to sit beside him.
Before he gets into his own churro, though...]
... So. That item I had told you about.
Have you seen the newest options among Riki's goods yet?
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-You go first.
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Evangeline, you can't dangle something like that in front of an Orange core. What is it that you bought?
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They felt like something you would want to try - a means to get to know the people you love on a deeper level.
[And now he lets out a hum of thought, bringing his churro-less hand up to rub his chin.]
... Yes, I suppose I'd be willing to try them. However, if we do... I would like to put them on now, before I show you what it is that I bought.
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[Evangeline pulls the pair of bracelets out of her purse, slips hers on, and offers the other to Louis.
What does she feel toward Louis in this moment? Gratitude for his willingness to try this with her. Curiosity towards what he has in store. Comfort and ease from his presence by her side.
And love, clear and strong. Love for the way he looks at the flowers surrounding them, for the way his nose scrunches up. For him being brave enough to feel her feelings even struggling with trusting that other people care about him the way he does. Love for every inch of him, like a warm blanket wrapped around her.]
1/2;
- And immediately jumps, taking it back off again like he'd been burned.
That's - it's so much? Immediately, that's so much; it felt like even just for a second, he'd been filled to the brim beyond his capacity...
Staring wide eyed, now, at the bracelet - though he turns that look up to her with a few blinks.]
... I suppose I should have prepared myself for that, first. Rather than simply slapping it on without consideration.
[Sitting up straighter again, he clears his throat and slooowly puts the bracelet back on...]
2/2;
They're beautiful - of course they are, they're Evangeline's feelings - and he's honored and touched that she feels this way, but they're just...
So much bigger than he's used to.
...
Which is something Evangeline, herself, will be able to feel. Even his shock and confusion are soft, small, and muted despite the way he'd lept up like a cat after its tail had been stepped on.
The only thing that isn't all that muted from him is the adoration he feels for her, honestly. It's clear as day, sitting strong and proud among all of his much smaller, weaker emotions - but it's also just about as big as you'd expect from a normal person.
Which... probably gives her a bit of a benchmark for just how small the rest of them are.]
Y-you... is this -
Do other people feel things... this much?
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[His emotions are smaller than she'd expected. He carries himself so theatrically - big reactions to everything - that it comes as a surprise how muted they really are.
And in sharp relief to that, how much he adores her.]
When you write me poetry, it's like twice that.
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[That tiny, almost scared little confusion squirming through everything almost feels like it quivers, hearing that.]
... Twice that...
[...
And now, for some reason, his shoulders droop, that expression of his starting to smooth out.
It's as if he's recognizing that his reaction to it all is a lot bigger than his feelings truly are, and that maybe he should...
Be honest about it. Drop the theatrics, the acting he purposefully puts on to look "normal" to others.]
Mmm. ... It's very touching, just how strongly you feel about me.
I apologize if what you're finding on my end is disappointing... but please know that my own are - they're... the strongest I've felt about anything.
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[The desire to reassure, to support, to make sure Louis knows he's fine as he is.]
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...
It's good you think so, however. I must admit, I always carry a small fear about the way I think, and feel, and perceive the world...
I'm well aware that even before dying, I've never been able to see the world as others do. Not in the same way as now, where my vision's muddied by my magic -
But somehow, when dealing with others, my mind takes paths theirs never do. My feelings, soft as they are, don't often come into play -
I make mistakes, and I hurt others because of it. Like an alien doing its best to pantomime humanity, and failing.
[His voice is even and flat as he speaks, purposefully keeping his theatrics to a minimum, and there's a soft little ripple in his emotions as he says what he does.
What is that ripple? Hard to say. But it's definitely there.]
... Of course, I'm not attempting to be a "bummer", so to speak. Just stating facts as they are.
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1/2;
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wrapup for sanity