abnormalizes | Seasons: IC Contact/Continuations

[Evangeline stops the moment he gently urges her to. She gives the back of his hand a squeeze.]

Would it help if I told you again that I forgive you?

[He goes quiet, hearing that. Clearly needing to think about it, letting out a sigh as he turns it over in his mind.]

... Not as much as I wish it would.

Please, don't get me wrong - I want this so badly... I would love nothing more than to let you ride me like it's going out of fashion.
If I had the choice, I'd allow you to fuck me until I fall unconscious. And I feel no shame admitting this.

But somehow, at the same time, it makes me feel as though we're stirring the contents of my chest cavity with a spiked mace.

...Okay. It sounds like we should stop, then?

[She's worked up, but her arousal is not nearly as important as his comfort. She doesn't want to hurt him even the tiniest bit.]

Oh, no, no--
I am certain that if we stop, I'll burst into flames and perish right here on the spot.

We Grim Reapers are resilient, able to handle everything from mortal wounds, to starvation, to hyperthermia, all without batting an eye - but we aren't immune to being blueballed.
Unfortunately.

[Notably, he's not letting go of her thighs at all. No getting up yet, they're not done??]

... I just -
Feel we must address the elephant in the room. In that, as always, whatever is happening in my head is a confusing, garbled mess that not even I follow along with most days, and it's chosen this as something to be quite a bit more confusing and garbled about.
I think I am feeling...

[He trails off, looking to the side as he clearly tries his best to untangle the multicolored, hallucinogenic mess that is his own thought patterns -
And then, with a tone in his voice as if this is the most alien word he has ever heard and could choose to say:]

... Remorse...?

[...This is clearly a difficult thing for him to grapple with, so she will not say the first thing that came to her mind, which was 'duh'.]

That would make sense. That's a pretty reasonable thing to wish to not have done.

Well... yes - you are right about that.
A normal person... they would look back at such actions and feel remorse, wouldn't they?

[His hold on her thighs lightens up a bit, and he starts to rub one of his thumbs in a little circle against her skin.]

... That I feel it at all is a testament to you and your ability to worm your way inside of people, you know.
I can't remember a time where I have felt it this strongly - and for reasons beyond disliking the consequences.

Of which there have been none, mind you; somehow, I am walking away from my crimes completely scot-free, and instead of being happy about such a thing... it feels wrong.

[She feels confident he’s never killed and eaten a friend before, and it’s less that she herself is special.]

…I think dealing with guilt is kind of a consequence. Maybe even a more effective one than the violence other people would inflict on you.

[It certainly helps that he's never had a friend before, too.
Aside from Jean, of course.]

If it is a consequence, then it's an awful one. A proper consequence should have a time limit, something you can look forward to after dealing with sitting in timeout for so long -
I don't foresee this going away anytime soon.

Unless I somehow manage to make you hate me, of course. But that is obviously not happening, either - and, at least at this exact moment in time, I...
Can't say that I want you to.

Not happening. [Gently.] But at least in my experience, guilt fades over time. It won’t hurt this much forever.

... I should hope so.
It feels gross and I don't like it.

[Said with the exact tone you'd expect from a rich brat who probably has an undiagnosed personality disorder, honestly.
He feels the remorse and the guilt, sure, but he has very little actual emotional attachment to them -

They're just there, being gross in his chest when he should be having fun. Nuisances, really.]

Kind of the point. It wouldn’t be an effective way of getting you to not do the thing again if it was a pleasant feeling.

Yes, well, that does not make me hate it less.
It is also not the reason I promised not to do that to you again, mind. Were you a mere acquaintance, there'd be a very strong chance I would do it again the moment you gave me a reason. Whether I felt guilt for the first go 'round or not.

[Pausing, thinking, letting out a thoughtful little hum -]

Well, no, I suppose the chance would still be slim with you... but only because it's clearly had little effect. Why attempt something a second time if the first had no effect?
It would be pointless.

But, no, the guilt is not why I refuse to treat you that way. I simply feel that you deserve better than that.
You did nothing to earn such treatment, and with how you are, there's no way you ever will earn it in the future, either.

Oh - thank you? I appreciate that.

…Like I said, I always figured there was a good chance I’d go that way, so… thank you for wanting better for me.

It is not that I want better for you, but that you deserve better.
Please keep that in mind, because it applies to how others treat you, too. Not just myself.

[He's still rubbing little idle circles in the skin of her thigh, of course. Still seated nice and firm inside of her, too.
Honestly, he can't say he dislikes this. Someone teach him what cockwarming is, because he's pretty down with this --]

... You really do have such a high tolerance for nonsense, though.
I'm well aware of how I sound when I speak, sometimes - most would hear me say the things I've just said and consider me some sort of cartoon villain.

I appreciate this about you, considering I seem to be some sort of uncontrollable villainesque nonsense generator.

[She can't complain! He feels nice.]

Your feelings and perspectives aren't nonsense. Even if they're different from most people's, that doesn't make them nonsense.

Oh, you simply refuse to let me treat myself in the way I deserve to be treated, don't you?
Fine. My feelings may not be "nonsense", but that does not save them from appearing villainesque and garish regardless.

After all, I just told you that even if you managed to deserve it, I wouldn't kill and eat you a second time as it had no effect.
And because it's upset my stomach.

Well. Yeah, that is pretty villain-y, I guess.

[It does make her chuckle, though.]

I guess I've got a high tolerance for villains.

You have a high tolerance for many things you ought not be tolerating at all, but villainy does appear to be one of them, yes.
I have a very strong feeling I am nowhere near the worst person you know, after all.

Despite what I've done to you, personally.

Honestly, good question, who is the worst person I know...

[Hmmmm...]

I'll figure it out later. But it's definitely not you, no.

I would hope not! I try not to make a habit of doing horrible things, after all.

That, and you do seem to enjoy nonhumans quite a bit. I imagine many of the bigger, more monstrous of your partners have likely done things most humans would consider morally bankrupt.
Just due to the fact that they are monsters.

It would be a bit like asking a wolf to behave according to human morals, I feel...

Pretty much exactly. -Purple Mage helped kill the sun once and they're not even that monstrous.

- The sun.

The sun?

[Immediately looking at the ceiling, as if he can see the sun through it - even reaching up to point at it.
The ceiling. To indicate what he's talking about.]

That sun? The literal sun?

Their world's sun, but yes.

Well, alright, but a sun. A literal star.
They "killed" it.

May I ask... why?

They were... trying to end their world? So it could be reborn? It's been a while since we talked about this so I don't remember all the details.

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