abnormalizes | Seasons: IC Contact/Continuations

[And take it she does, moaning and twitching. She squeezes her muscles tight around him, making sure to milk him of every drop.]

...Round two, or is it aftercare time?

[MK is panting for a moment. He groans as the high comes down and he thinks on that question. The feelings that were fueling that need are disappearing now.

Aftercare. Uh. You wanna sit on it while we talk? You know, some gentle cockwarming?

[Because they can sit, talk, and cuddle all at the same time with that.]

How you feeling? You're a great friend. And I really appreciate this. It helped a bunch.

Cockwarming sounds good to me.

[She hasn't actually come yet, but she's not going to be the one to point that out - this is for him.]

I feel pretty good. Honestly, this is something I'd wanted for myself for a while, I just didn't want to worry anyone by asking. How are you doing?

I'm glad. Well, if you wanna do this again, I'm game. It's like a really dirty roleplay.

I'm doing better. It's giving me things to think about. And talk about, I guess. If you wanna listen for a bit?

What are friends for? I'm all ears. What's going on in your head right now?

Thanks. I...okay. Macaque likes it when I use him. But I don't go all out like how I just used you. It's this middle ground and I don't know if I'm going far enough or not far enough. Like when I wanna be used, it isn't so much the words I like. It's the actions. Hair pulling. Just moving me, positioning me, no warning. Just doing, you know?

Not sure I'd take being talked to like I was doing for you well. But that's me. But doing it? That felt fun because I knew it was all roleplay. I just don't wanna be on the other side I think.

But when I'm with Macaque, and I'm doing that, I keep wondering if I'm going far enough. And I haven't brought it up because I feel like it's almost too late? Which I like know is stupid but then I don't and...

I don't want to cause another issue. And say something stupid. Like...when I do it. Does he want me to go full degradation? And does he ever want me to turn into someone else to do that? ...I get scared to ask so I just don't.

It sounds like you know this and you're just scared to, but you really should talk to him about it. Communicating about kinks and what you both want and are comfortable is important.

-If he wants something that you're uncomfortable with doing, you're allowed to say no, and then that's that - it doesn't have to become an issue. Even I have limits.

I guess I'm afraid of what part of the answer might be. You're right, I do need to talk to him.

I have a real hard time saying no to him. A really really hard time.

That's no good. It's important to be able to say no even to people you love.

-I'm sure Macaque would feel pretty shitty if you made yourself do something for him that you weren't comfortable with.

I know he would. I feel shitty when he does it for me. It's just...

After all the fights and how badly things went before. I don't want something like that to happen again. I just want to make the people who I love happy. And...

I'm still struggling thinking about parts of me being expendable.

Sacrificing your own comfort for him won't make him happy. No kink is worth someone you love doing that.

Would it help to think of working on your own happiness and self-worth as something that makes him happy?

Maybe. I know he'd say it would make him happy if I do. I just...keep asking if I'm good enough in my head. And I need to realize he says I am and I need to believe it. But...I think it's just easier for him with other people. I want to be easy but I know I'm not. And bringing this up makes me worried I'm hard to be with. It's always something with me.

I'm tired of it always being something with me.

...It'd definitely be nice for it to be easy. I get frustrated with myself too - like, other people date like it's no big deal, why do I have to have my stupid hangups and trauma and make everything complicated? Why can't I just do something that other people do effortlessly?

-But, I know that's not fair to me. And it's not fair to you, either.

Guess being fair to ourselves just feels a lot harder than being fair to everyone else. Or more than fair sometimes.

Pretty much. Like it makes me upset to think of you treating yourself that way, but I will still slip with it myself if I'm not careful.

It makes me sad thinking you treat yourself that way too. I can't be mad. Because I get it. Maybe we should check in with each other sometimes? Support each other. Would that be something you wanna do?

Yeah, I'd like that. And I can help you in ways besides just getting railed.

[Although she is good at that part.]

More like you can help in ways plus getting railed. Or railing me. Because this really helped. I realized this isn't really what I like that much. Like the roleplay was more fun than the actual degradation. I'd play this again with you.

I love roleplay! I'd be happy to do all kinds of scenarios with you. Nothing is too weird for me, don't hesitate to suggest anything.

Then we can roleplay it. And if you get any itches, you can ask me too. I love roleplaying. Definitely one of my favorite kinks.

What's your favorite roleplay you've done so far?

Good question. Um...

Well there was this one I did one. Where my partner was trying to capture me and did. But then they didn't want to take me to who hired them so they decided to keep me. It was that kinda roleplay. It was really fun.

Oh, that does sound fun. I've done something similar with Chipp a few times - sexy slasher villain roleplay. -That was actually what we did the first time we had sex, even.

Did he wear like a horror movie slasher mask and everything?

He had his usual helmet on. Putting a mask on top of that would be pretty excessive I think.

Seasons: IC Contact/Continuations

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