Seasons: IC Contact/Continuations

[abnormalizes]

This is Evangeline! Sorry, I'm a little busy right now, but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!

Comments

[abnormalizes]

That's no good. It's important to be able to say no even to people you love.

-I'm sure Macaque would feel pretty shitty if you made yourself do something for him that you weren't comfortable with.

[noodleboi]

I know he would. I feel shitty when he does it for me. It's just...

After all the fights and how badly things went before. I don't want something like that to happen again. I just want to make the people who I love happy. And...

I'm still struggling thinking about parts of me being expendable.

[abnormalizes]

Sacrificing your own comfort for him won't make him happy. No kink is worth someone you love doing that.

Would it help to think of working on your own happiness and self-worth as something that makes him happy?

[noodleboi]

Maybe. I know he'd say it would make him happy if I do. I just...keep asking if I'm good enough in my head. And I need to realize he says I am and I need to believe it. But...I think it's just easier for him with other people. I want to be easy but I know I'm not. And bringing this up makes me worried I'm hard to be with. It's always something with me.

I'm tired of it always being something with me.

[abnormalizes]

...It'd definitely be nice for it to be easy. I get frustrated with myself too - like, other people date like it's no big deal, why do I have to have my stupid hangups and trauma and make everything complicated? Why can't I just do something that other people do effortlessly?

-But, I know that's not fair to me. And it's not fair to you, either.

[noodleboi]

Guess being fair to ourselves just feels a lot harder than being fair to everyone else. Or more than fair sometimes.

[abnormalizes]

Pretty much. Like it makes me upset to think of you treating yourself that way, but I will still slip with it myself if I'm not careful.

[noodleboi]

It makes me sad thinking you treat yourself that way too. I can't be mad. Because I get it. Maybe we should check in with each other sometimes? Support each other. Would that be something you wanna do?

[abnormalizes]

Yeah, I'd like that. And I can help you in ways besides just getting railed.

[Although she is good at that part.]

[noodleboi]

More like you can help in ways plus getting railed. Or railing me. Because this really helped. I realized this isn't really what I like that much. Like the roleplay was more fun than the actual degradation. I'd play this again with you.

[abnormalizes]

I love roleplay! I'd be happy to do all kinds of scenarios with you. Nothing is too weird for me, don't hesitate to suggest anything.

[noodleboi]

Then we can roleplay it. And if you get any itches, you can ask me too. I love roleplaying. Definitely one of my favorite kinks.

[abnormalizes]

What's your favorite roleplay you've done so far?

[noodleboi]

Good question. Um...

Well there was this one I did one. Where my partner was trying to capture me and did. But then they didn't want to take me to who hired them so they decided to keep me. It was that kinda roleplay. It was really fun.

[abnormalizes]

Oh, that does sound fun. I've done something similar with Chipp a few times - sexy slasher villain roleplay. -That was actually what we did the first time we had sex, even.

[noodleboi]

Did he wear like a horror movie slasher mask and everything?

[abnormalizes]

He had his usual helmet on. Putting a mask on top of that would be pretty excessive I think.