abnormalizes | Seasons: IC Contact/Continuations

It's a helmet. -But a very hot helmet.

Well, I told him I was trying to work on being open to romantic relationships, and we got to talking about me being nervous about them, and he offered to let me 'practice' dating with him. ...I'm honestly not sure it was ever just practice.

I mean, two weeks is pretty fast to fall. Don't get me wrong, that's about how long it took Esme and me so no judgment. Just observation.

So you agreed to let him be your practice boyfriend but looking back, you're not sure it ever truly was practice. So real deal with a nice plausible deniability of practice to soothe the nerves?

Pretty much. -We'd bonded over a lot of things at that point, it wasn't just the sex. He makes me feel loved for who I am, fucked up parts and all.

Probably helps the feeling goes both ways. I get the sense he's fairly fucked up too and you love him for all of him too, those parts included.

Absolutely. I love him exactly the way he is. -And I can say that without needing a minute to work up the courage for it, now.

[Personal growth!]

Well well well. Look how far you've come since I met you. Once upon a time, the idea of an official relationship was not something you thought was possible. A far off wish. Now?

You have three partners. And you don't even need to work up to the big L word.

I'm proud of you.

[Oh, her heart's swelling in her chest.]

Thank you. I still get scared sometimes, but - I'm proud of me, too.

Any reoccurring fears you want to talk about?

You deserve to be proud of yourself.

...Knowing that they could disappear overnight from Ellipsa isn't great.

Very valid fear there. The uncontrollable variables. However, the fleeting nature some would say gives the moments we have their intense meaning.

I know everybody risks losing the people they love in some way. That's just a part of life. Sometimes I get frustrated with myself for letting that fear get to me when other people seem to handle it just fine.

Most people deal with it by not thinking about it. Showing the vulnerability of that fear isn't weakness. Vulnerability is how you grow stronger, allowing others to help and allowing you to work through it openly and honestly. It's more of a strength than perhaps some would care to admit.

Oh. ...So they're still scared, they're just not acknowledging it?

[News to her.]

More or less. The big uncontrollable dreads are easier to deal with if you don't let them enter the conscious mind. Most people try to not think about it until it happens. Then they grieve.

That makes sense. I guess most people have more space between it happening than I’m used to at home.

[Harder to avoid thinking about it when it happened near daily.]

A good thing to keep in mind. You are more intimately familiar with losing people than most. Cole and you likely have a similar disposition to it honestly.

You aren't alone.

I'm not alone. And it's okay to be afraid.

[Inhale, exhale.]

...Alright, I'm good with not talking about my issues for a little bit, how are you and Esme? Have you gone on any cute dates?

Fair enough.

[Max grins.] No super cute dates yet. Most of the time we just sit a home and snuggle, to be honest. But he's making friends and is proud of me for making them too.

Probably will go out on a cute date here sometime soon. I'm just still looking for the perfect one to go on that we can get through without either getting distracted with each other or pick up a plus one along the way.

So it can actually be cute the whole time.

Oh, yeah, I've definitely had that problem. With all of my partners. Woops.

[She's deeply horny and so are her girlfriends and boyfriends.]

So far from my limited dating experience, I highly recommend finding something with your boyfriend's niche interest to just watch him get super excited about. Went to a monster truck show with Chipp, I didn't know a thing about monster trucks going in and I still had a great time.

Hmm. That could work. A nice boat ride maybe. He does love sailing. We could fish too. That sounds nice. I haven't gone fishing for a long time myself. My moms took me when I was ten last.

Sounds like you're overdue for a nice fishing trip, then.

[Not her thing, but she can see why people enjoy it.]

I definitely am. Also overdue for a vampire hunt but that's not as cute or romantic.

No, probably not. Still enjoyable with the right person though.

[Have they talked about hunting dates before, yes.]

True I guess. Not sure who I would take on a date like that.

Probably not me, I'd get distracted...

[At least she's self-aware.]

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