abnormalizes | Seasons: IC Contact/Continuations

Seasons: IC Contact/Continuations

This is Evangeline! Sorry, I'm a little busy right now, but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!

[She knows. She remembers the fear, the pain, how much simpler it would be to just stay alone forever.]

...I'm not that strong. If I loved someone and they were taken away again, I don't know if I could keep going.

Except the reason why you're so afraid is because of how desperately you want to love.

[He drags the pen over the paper. More to move his hands than anything.]

People do not fear losing things unless those things matter. And when things matter, it hurts to not have them.

You can lie to yourself. You can pretend you can do without.

But the longer you go without, the more you have to break things to keep going.

You can put on a front. You can cover it up with things.

You can pretend sex is enough for intimacy. [He's seen enough sitcoms to know about that coping mechanism.]

You can talk without breathing so you never have to acknowledge the silence.

But the cracks will form, and sooner or later, something is going to shatter.

Edited 2025-03-01 17:53 (UTC)

I...

[She knows he's right. That the only reason losing people would be so terrifying is because she wants those people in her life. She knows she's fooling herself, telling herself she doesn't care that much and it won't hurt that bad.]

I'm sorry. I need some time to think.

[He nods.] Its a lot.

But....

Speaking as someone who gets it.

The loneliness...the loneliness does a lot more damage. It makes things a lot worse for a lot longer.

Because the grief you already have echoes in it.

When you let other people in, its a lot easier to remember what the past love feels like.

...I can't promise anything. But I'll at least think about it.

[Some things are too deeply ingrained in her to change just like that.]

Don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen easy.

This kind of stuff takes time.

It takes a lot of time and patience and there will be people who will help you adjust if you trust them.

I know Rinku would be there with you every step of the way and so will I.

I know, I know, I just - fuck.

Thank you for the desserts.

[She doesn't want to directly go like 'please get out so I can freak out privately and save some face' but she also really wants to say that.]

[He nods.]

[Pauses.]

[Then he's by her and hugging her.]

You got this.

Also if you try to avoid me in an effort to hide from your feelings, remember that you cannot outrun me and I literally grew up under a rock so you cannot trap me in social conventions to escape.

[That is mostly offered up as a joke.]

[Mostly.]

[He pulls back.] You can keep the cakes. I'll take the cookies. [Since she wasn't for them as much.]

[But he'll grab the cookies and if there's a throw blanket, he'll toss the over her shoulders and cuts a fresh slice of cake for her to eat so hopefully that sugar helps and then the door will quietly close behind him.]

[The hug helps. She's always liked hugs; she's never been able to deny that to herself.

When he's gone, she lets herself sob fully, ugly messy tears streaming down her face. That helps a little, too.]

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Seasons: IC Contact/Continuations

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