[At least half the reason can't identify so much of this stuff is because he's lingering behind Evangeline, only peeking around her when she asks him where he wants to start. MM YEAH BUDDY that big awkward is back FULL FORCE. Maybe a quicky would have helped him calm his nerves after all, but TOO LATE NOW NERDS hindsight is 20/20.]
Oh, uh--! I don't... I guess it doesn't matter. Dildos?
Okay, so we want to start you off with a small one. About the smallest you can get without going into specialty places is three and a half inches long, so let's look for something about that length.
[The straight forward instructional tone does help him calm down, and he tails behind Evangeline to the wiener section. He does look a smidge confused though.]
That's small? Oookay, sure, we'll start with that.
The average human penis is five inches when erect, and most dildos made by humans are meant to emulate a human penis somewhat. So yeah, three and a half is small.
[She owns a couple not meant to mimic human dicks that reach over a foot long, but she decides not to mention that.]
Right, right, a size difference like that would make sense. That's definitely smaller than Shadow's... I didn't exactly get an accurate measurement of it though.
[At this point it wouldn't surprise Sonic at all if Eva had a few giant dildos laying around. That's just how she do!]
[He says no rush, but this is Sonic the Hedgehog. He's always in a rush. Hopefully he remembers to take all this slowly. But hey, Eva found a rad little dildo!]
Sonic gives her a thumbs up and sets his bag down, and then just stares down at himself because he hadn't thought about how to actually DO the measuring part. Well... nards. He's gonna need a boner.]
[He takes the measuring tape! And then taps his chin with it while he glances around the room and then at Evangeline.]
You don't have to leave, but. Uhh. So, I don't know if Shadow works a little different? He's not exactly an average hedgehog in terms of... well, [He gestures to his own crotchular area. Shadow's got a wacky dong, yo,] but typically a male hedgehog needs to be aroused for anything to pop out, for... lack of a better term. I guess.
[THE TIME HAS COME for Sonic to get comfortable with his weird little body! If the 'suddenly preforming in front of an audience' jitters ever wear off. He pulls one of his gloves off, and hesitates a bit before rubbing awkwardly at the area between his legs. Not for very long though as he pauses abruptly.]
So... so I don't think I'm in the right uh, mood? Sorry, this was just kinda sudden, I guess?
Both might help? I think this might not feel so weird if I'm not the only one doing this.
[There, approach it from a point of LOGIC. That's way less awkward than just standing in the middle of Eva's living room or wherever trying to jerk off.]
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